Sonic Offender
by InachiSasuke
Summary: After many unpaid speeding tickets and counts of assault, the Blue Blur has a serious trial on his white-gloved hands. A Sonic the Hedgehog fanfiction.


"Please rise! The Honorable Judge O'Bailey residing!" said the bailiff. Everyone stood up and sat down. The judge walked in and sat at his table.

"Case 13: Sonic the Hedgehog versus the Zone of Green Hill. Will the defense present their case?" the judge said after clearing his throat.

"Yes, your honor," said Sonic's lawyer. He took a deep breath a began. "My client has been charged for assault and for not paying several speeding tickets."

The lawyer for the zone scoffed. " 'Several'? Did you say 'several'? Your client neglected to pay…one hundred and seventy-four speeding tickets! He was going faster than the speed of sound in a school zone! Where, Mr. Hedgehog, exactly were you going that you had to shatter so many windows and ear drums to get there?"

Sonic looked like he was ready to explode. "I was on my way to go stop Dr. E--"

The lawyer cut him off. "Did you hear him, ladies and gentleman of the jury? He was on his way to 'stop' poor Doctor Eggman. Mr. Hedgehog, did you or did you not jump on the good doctor's head?"

"He's a mad scientist!"

"Answer the question, Mr. Hedgehog!"

Sonic sighed in irritation. "Yes, I jumped on his head. But he was in a flying chair! It was all I could do!"

The lawyer laughed. "I daresay, if you simply _had_ to assault the doctor, you could have thrown all of your unpaid speeding tickets at him!"

"Objection! Irrelevance." Sonic's lawyer called to the judge.

The judge held up a hand. "Overruled. Continue."

The lawyer for Green Hill nodded. "Thank you, your honor. Now, Mr. Hedgehog, as I understand it, you were chasing after the 'Mad Scientist' because he turned small woodland creatures into robotic insects. Correct?"

"Yes, but--"

"So, you attacked the alleged mad scientist by chasing him through school zones at faster than the speed of sound, 174 times, might I remind you, just to jump on his head. Correct?"

"Yea, but--"

"Your Honor, if it pleases the court, I'd like to point out that Mr. Hedgehog, too, is, by most laws of nature, a small woodland creature. Was his ruthless attack for protection…or _vengeance_?!"

Sonic's lawyer jumped up. "OBJECTION! Accusations on my client!"

The judge thought for a moment. "I'll allow it. Call your witness."

The lawyer nodded. "Defense would like to call Miles Prower to the stand."

Tails glided into the questioning booth. The lawyer for the zone walked over to him. "Mr. Prower, how long have you known Mr. Hedgehog?"

"Oh, me and Sonic have been buddies since we met!"

"Indeed. And, since you've known him, has he always chased after Dr. Eggman with the intent to 'save the animals'?"

Tails thought for a moment. "Oh, well, one time, we had to chase after him, but Knuckles stopped us, so we had to jump on him, first!"

"Thank you, Mr. Prower. No further questions."

The judge took a swig of water. "Very well. Does the defense have anything to add?"

At this point, Sonic's lawyer looked rather hopeless. "No, you Honor. The defense rests."

"Very well. The jury will deliberate on Mr. Hedgehog's verdic. Court is hereby adjourned until tomorrow at noon. Dismissed!"

The courtroom started to clear out. Sonic looked to his lawyer. "Do you think I stand a chance?"

The lawyer shook his head. "You may have ten minutes ago, but not now. We'll just have to wait until tomorrow."

_The Next Day_

"All rise!"

Everyone rose and sat down when appropriate as the bailiff spoke. The jury filed into their seats soon after the judge sat down.

He cleared his throat. "We meet today to hear the verdict of Mr. Hedgehog. Madame Jurywoman, how do you find him?" A woman in a red business suit stood up. "We the people of the Zone of Green Acres find Mr. Sonic the Hedgehog guilty of assault and for not paying numerous speeding tickets."

The judge banged his gavel. "Very well. Mr. Hedgehog, you are hereby sentenced to have your head jumped on 174 times by Dr. Eggman, followed by thirty days of community service. Starting…now."

Dr. Eggman stood up and walked over to Sonic. "Well, well, you wretched rodent, now you get what he deserve!"

Then he jumped for the first of 174 times.


End file.
